The Pheasant Hotel, Kelling

I would like all your interior soft furnishings, gosh it's good. A great refurb desperately needed for this tired hotel so thanks to the new owners, great style and taste. I'd guess interiors is what you love doing, it's so tasteful, discreet high quality thoughtfulness. I really want to come back so a nicely as I can say this - train and turn out your staff to the same excellent quality of your interior. They were quite friendly but sloppily charmless and clearly couldn't give a monkeys.

1. We had to place our own order at the bar (I saw at least 3 staff and initially mum and I were the only diners)

2. Your staff kept vanishing and unfortunately for them they were having their coffee just where I could see them. That's fine, but not at the expense of attention to your diners and yes, funnily enough I did want to order food.

3. They were totally indiscreet, discussing their hourly rates/salaries in plain earshot of us. I just don't think guests should hear this kind of stuff, it's completely unprofessional.

4. Scruffily turned out and one came to clear plates stinking of cigarettes. I have never noticed this before on any waitress anywhere I have eaten.

I would love to come back and have the bread and butter pudding for starter, main, dessert and breakfast, lunch and dinner. But my smoked mackerel salad as a main was a serious disappointment. Sure it stated clearly it was smoked mackerel, salad, beet root, apples and pumpkin seeds but, people out there, when you go to a restaurant do you expect to have placed in front of you ingredients you can buy in bags at a supermarket and chucked on a plate? And charged10.95? Do I hear hell no? Well that was my salad. I realise salads aren't a great challenge to a chefs repertoire but I kind of thought the beet root and apple might have been a little flavoured up, maybe presented in a little chutney type of thing? Still I was most impressed at the perfect translucent thinness of the half dozen apple slices.

Mum had the cod and risotto which clearly stimulated the chef more as it was excellent but if you can't put that sort of talent into all your dishes don't put them on the menu!